The Stares Never Get Easier

People often ask if you get used to it.

The truth is, you don't.

Not long ago, I took SJ to get his blood drawn. What stayed with me wasn't the appointment itself. It was the waiting room. The stares. The lingering looks. The whispers you wonder if you imagined.

I know most people aren't trying to be unkind. Sometimes they're simply curious. Sometimes they don't know what they're seeing. But when you're the parent in that moment, trying to comfort your scared child while holding yourself together, every stare feels a little heavier.

Lately, I've been making a conscious effort to take SJ out more.

For a while, it felt easier to stay home. Home is familiar. Home is safe. Out in public, I never know what the day will bring.

But I don't want to hide my son because the world doesn't always understand him.

He deserves to experience the world just as much as anyone else. He deserves to go to the grocery store, the park, restaurants, doctor's appointments, and everywhere in between without feeling like he has to fit into someone else's version of "normal."

The stares still hurt.

But something else has happened too.

Every now and then, someone smiles at us.

Not the kind of smile that comes from pity, but one that feels like understanding. Sometimes it's another parent. Sometimes it's someone who simply seems to get it without saying a word.

Those small moments stay with me.

They remind me that while not everyone understands autism, there are people who choose kindness first. On the hard days, that quiet kindness means more than they'll ever know.

So if you ever see a family like ours, a child who is overwhelmed, making loud noises, flapping, running, or having a difficult moment, you don't have to know exactly what to say.

Just choose kindness.

A smile. A little patience. A little grace.

You never know how much that one small gesture could mean to a parent who is already carrying so much.

And to the parents walking this same road, I know it's hard.

I know the stares can make you question whether it's easier to stay home.

But our children deserve to take up space in this world. They deserve to be included, accepted, and loved exactly as they are.

So we'll keep showing up.

We'll keep making memories.

We'll keep choosing courage over comfort.

Because they belong here too.