The Day We Got SJ’s Diagnosis

SJ was diagnosed with autism at a year and a half old.

Even now, that feels young to say out loud. At the time, I did not fully understand what it meant. I just knew something felt different, and I could not ignore it.

Looking back, there were signs.

He was really drawn to flashing lights. Not just interested, but locked in on them in a way that felt hard to pull him away from. He did not always react when I called his name, which started to sit heavy with me over time. There were moments of what I can only describe as odd behaviors, things that did not quite match what I was seeing in other kids his age.

He was also a very picky eater. At first, I thought it was just a phase. People would say that all kids go through that. But something about it felt different. It was more intense, more limiting, and harder to navigate.

One thing that stood out to me was that there was not a lot of flapping or the signs people usually talk about. That made it even more confusing, because I did not see what I thought autism was supposed to look like.

So I questioned myself a lot.

I wondered if I was overthinking. I wondered if I was just being an anxious mom. I went back and forth in my head more times than I can count.

And then came the diagnosis.

I remember feeling a mix of emotions all at once. There was a part of me that felt relief, because I finally had an answer. But there was also fear, confusion, and a lot of unknowns.

The hardest part was realizing how little I actually knew about autism.

No one really prepares you for that moment. There is no clear roadmap. No step by step guide telling you what to do next. I remember thinking, where do I even start?

I felt completely lost.

I started looking for information, for resources, for anything that could help me understand what this meant for SJ and for our future. But it was overwhelming. There was so much out there, yet it still felt like I was not finding what I truly needed.

And honestly, I felt alone.

I did not know many people going through the same thing. I did not have a community yet. I did not have answers. Just questions, and a strong feeling that I needed to figure it out for my son.

That season of my life was full of learning.

Learning how to advocate. Learning how to listen to SJ in ways that go beyond words. Learning how to trust my instincts, even when I felt unsure.

If you are in that place right now, feeling lost or unsure after a diagnosis, I want you to know something.

You are not behind. You are not doing it wrong. And you are not alone, even if it feels like it.

It takes time to find your rhythm. It takes time to understand your child in the way they need. And it takes time to build the support system that works for your family.

I am still learning every day.

But what I do know now is this. That moment that felt so heavy at the beginning did not define us. It was the start of a different path, one that has challenged me, changed me, and shown me a deeper kind of love and strength than I ever knew before.

And it is a path we are walking together.

Resources That Helped Me Get Started

If you are at the beginning of this journey and not sure where to start, here are a few things that can help guide you.

Early intervention services can be a great first step. These programs are designed to support children at a young age and can make a big difference over time.

Talk to your child’s pediatrician about evaluations, therapy options, and referrals. Even if you feel unsure, starting the conversation helps open doors.

Look into speech therapy, occupational therapy, and behavioral therapy. Every child is different, so it may take time to figure out what works best for yours.

Try to connect with other parents. Whether it is online or in your local community, finding people who understand can make a huge difference.

Give yourself permission to learn at your own pace. You do not have to have everything figured out right away.

And most importantly, trust yourself. You know your child better than anyone.